If you’re one of the many people who experiences anxiety, you’ve probably said at some point, “I’m anxious.”
It seems like a normal thing to say. We use it to explain how we feel, both to ourselves and to other people. But when you slow down and look at the language, it starts to tell a different story.
The words “I am” describe who we believe we are. So when we repeatedly say, “I am anxious,” we’re no longer just describing a feeling. We’re beginning to identify with it. At some level we’re saying, “This is who I am.”
I’d like to offer a different way of looking at it because it can completely change the way you relate to anxiety.
The problem with saying “I am anxious” is that if you want to stop being anxious, it can feel like you have to get rid of part of yourself.
Of course that isn’t true.
You are not anxiety. You are someone experiencing anxiety.
That might sound like a small difference, or even just playing with words, but language matters. The conversations we have with ourselves become the beliefs we build our lives around.
Over time we start saying things like:
▪ “I’m always anxious.”
▪ “I suffer from anxiety.”
▪ “That’s just the way I am.”
These labels help explain what we’re experiencing, but they can also become our identity.
When you’re trying to create change, how you label yourself is a great place to start.
Observe the language you use.
Not to judge yourself, but to become aware of it.
Awareness creates choice.
When you change the language, you begin changing the relationship you have with what you’re experiencing.
Sometimes anxiety isn’t actually the biggest problem.
Sometimes it’s what sits underneath it.
For many people, after living in survival mode for a long time, what is really there is exhaustion. They’ve read the books, tried the breathing, they’ve had counselling. They know what they’re supposed to do. Yet they still feel stuck.
Often it isn’t because they don’t know enough. It’s because their body is tired.
When you begin looking at the situation through that lens, different choices become possible.
▪ Notice the times you push through even though your body is asking for rest.
▪ Notice when you tell yourself you’ll slow down after you finish just one more job.
▪ Notice how often you’re waiting until everything is done before giving yourself permission to rest.
That pattern is usually the body showing you exactly what is happening inside. You’re tired…but you’re wired.
Most people only notice the wired part.
The racing mind, tight chest, worry, tension. The feeling that something needs to change. But if you can also begin seeing the tiredness underneath it, everything starts to shift.
You can begin nourishing yourself instead of fighting yourself.
You can become kinder to yourself instead of judging yourself.
You can start rebuilding your energy rather than simply trying to manage your symptoms.
When the body feels supported instead of pushed, the nervous system begins to see unwinding as something that is safe. And when the body feels safe, something important happens. Choice starts to return. That is where real change begins.
If this resonates with you and you’re wondering whether you’re running on stress more than real energy, our Thriving Checklist is a great place to start.
It only takes a few minutes to complete and helps you look at the areas that often get overlooked, like your energy, sleep, digestion, nervous system and recovery.
Rather than asking, “What’s wrong with me?” it helps you ask, “How well is my body really functioning?”
Sometimes just seeing the pattern clearly is enough to create the first step towards change. Complete the free Thriving Checklist today and discover where you are on the journey from survival to thriving.
