Most people aim for “not sick”.
Thriving is different.
With our busy lives, filled with family, work, stress and overwhelm, the goal is often simply to suffer less. So we aim for less stress, less pain, less tiredness, less anxiety. Then we assume that once we have less of these things, by definition we will have more of what we want.
This can work for short-term or acute issues, but when you’re dealing with long-term, chronic or complex conditions, you might have noticed that this isn’t always the case.
Usually, when you’ve been suffering for some time, a few things start to happen.
Multiple pathways of the body become affected. You might feel tired because your digestion isn’t creating the energy you need, while your liver is now toxic and overwhelmed, affecting blood movement and your ability to move. Your immune system might be struggling, and you may also be perpetually running in an adrenal-fuelled state.
Because you’ve been in this state for so long, you become desperate not to feel this rubbish. So when your symptoms aren’t as bad, you think, “Yes, finally I can have a break.”
So you have a break from the effort you’ve been putting in.
The problem is that you might only be about 50% of the way towards resolving the old issues. This is the point where it becomes really important to shift towards what you actually want.
Being motivated to move away from suffering is usually the first and best motivator to get us moving. However, if it is the only motivator, then by definition we have to wait until we are suffering again before we can find our motivation.
It might sound silly, but this is one of the most normal patterns that keeps people in a loop of feeling better, then feeling worse. We push ourselves until we are far enough away from the suffering, but as soon as we reach that point, we often stop.
Then the cycle starts again.
At this 50% point is where the real fruit of your efforts can happen. It is where you can start to break old patterns and move into a new state of being. The difference is moving into what you want rather than simply moving away from what you don’t want. We often assume that if we know what we don’t want, we will naturally move towards what we do want.
But without clear direction, this doesn’t always happen. Instead, we keep comparing ourselves to what we don’t want.
Tired.
Anxious.
Overwhelmed.
In pain.
These are important starting points. They help us understand what needs to change and give us something to measure initially. But when you want to move into a state that you can actually maintain, it becomes much more about what you want rather than what you don’t want.
The easiest way to do this is to convert what you don’t want into what you do want. If you then connect it to an emotional benefit, it becomes even more powerful.
For example:
Tired → Vitality → Joy
Pain → Dynamic movement → Freedom
Anxiety → Calm, confidence, resilience → Peace
So use what you don’t want to help give you focus, get you started and initially assess your results. But once you start getting some traction, it is important to shift towards what you want.
What would you actually create if you weren’t weighed down by all the things you are trying to move away from? This makes a big difference. It gives the body and mind a new direction and helps you break away from the old loop.
The goal isn’t simply to become less tired, less anxious or less in pain. The goal is to create more vitality, more freedom, more peace, more connection and more choice in how you live.
That is the difference between simply being “not sick” and actually thriving.
Take the Thriving Scorecard to help give you some direction.
